In an era that measures worth by efficiency and relentless competition, choosing to hit the "pause" button at the peak of one's career seems counterintuitive.
Su Xue was a "successful woman"—with a thriving career, material abundance, and an extensive social network—her life appeared to be a constant forward march. Yet, beneath the surface of this expansion, she was losing her inner tranquility. A series of unavoidable spiritual encounters eventually led her to enter a "sabbatical year"—a period not of withdrawal, but of profound reordering.
A Faith Encounter in the Subway
Su Xue grew up in a northern China's family. As the home was filled with statues of Buddha and various deities since her childhood, her mother becamse a medium for the Shaman after a serious illness. But her Christian journey began during her graduation year in a southern Chinese city. While navigating the transition from student to professional, she frequented a particular subway passage. For two consecutive days, at the same spot, she encountered a blonde foreign girl working as a model. Though strangers, a brief moment of eye contact sparked a sense of mutual kindness.
"Do you like singing? Do you like English?" the girl asked. She invited Su Xue to an English choir, and they exchanged contact information. Looking back, Su realized this was the first time God reached out to her.
Through this girl's family, Su witnessed the power of prayer: a mother who conceived unexpectedly at fifty and a brother in the military whose life was saved by a coin stopping a bullet. When the girl's father was terminally ill, a letter arrived with a photo of the family praying by his bed. At the end of the letter, one sentence was written with great intensity: "Go to church! Go to Christ!"
Su followed the girl to church but felt like an outsider. After the girl returned to her home country, Su lost her companionship and guidance. Despite the beauty of the century-old church's stained-glass windows, she couldn't feel warmth and eventually drifted away, forgetting her initial prayer of commitment.
Return amid Professional Success
Years later, when Su Xue reconnected with her faith, she was amid her professional success.
As an authorized distributor for her company, she lived in a 200-square-meter luxury apartment in a developed city. From the exterior, she had everything. Yet, a quiet anxiety grew within her. She struggled to trust the stability of her relationships. Despite her talent and charisma, she remained plagued by insecurity, magnifying her fear of loss.
At a massive corporate conference, a high-level executive shared how faith—rather than "successology"—had brought transformation. The inner peace and joy from the speaker struck her. For the first time, she realized faith and career could coexist. In the midst of the crowded hall, a clear voice spoke to her heart: "Come closer to Me." This time, she chose to respond.
Upon returning to church, Su applied her professional habits to her spiritual life. She meticulously recorded and transcribed sermons, practicing them until she could articulate her own testimony. Her efforts led over a hundred people to Christ.
However, she was truly humbled by a sister named Xiao Ting. A restaurant waitress with only a junior high education, Xiao Ting possessed a level of faith Su envied. When asked if she worried about her boyfriend leaving her, Xiao Ting replied calmly, "If God allows it, we will be together; if not, He will provide better."
Though living in the luxury apartment, Su realized her own spiritual poverty: she possessed much, yet lacked true reliance on God.
Later, the book The Purpose Driven Life, written by Rick Warren, was introduced to her—a seed that would later sprout into a massive ministry.
From Zeal to Life Order
On her 30th birthday, Su Xue was baptized. As she was immersed in the water, she did not yet fully grasp the spiritual weight of this gift, but God had already turned a new page for her.
Shortly after, at a large gathering, she responded to a pastoral call and committed herself to becoming a "workplace missionary." For this energetic girl from Northern China, her natural drive finally found a divine direction. She began to boldly share the gospel on her social media, undeterred by the fear of being blocked or rejected.
The light of faith also began to enter the details of her life. As she brought the frictions and confusions of her marriage into Christian counseling courses, her faith transitioned from "knowledge" to "daily life." It manifested as service in the kitchen, self-sacrifice in parenting, and peace and understanding during heated arguments with her husband.
Through these marriage courses, she recognized that their conflicts were rooted in different upbringing backgrounds and value systems. She gradually learned the lessons of acceptance and submission. The transformation didn't happen in a single moment but unfolded through different study sessions and gatherings.
Forced Pause: Four Moments of Inner Revelation
While her spiritual zeal grew, her professional life remained full of ups and downs. Business transitions and team expansions continued relentlessly. Even pregnancy and the pandemic only slowed her down briefly before she launched a new project, building a 1,600-person team in six months. She worked while nursing; nannies raised her newborn, and her daughter's homeschooling was neglected.
The true turning point came during an evening walk when a voice resonated: "What you have been pursuing is a life of vanity."
Later, a dream touched her deepest fear. In the dream, she felt an intense anxiety that her husband would despise her because of her humbler background. This traced back to her childhood; her father, who rose from poverty through manual labor, had always instilled in her, "You can only rely on yourself." This "survivalist" pressure had driven her to prove her worth through constant work.
In a study session, she asked, "Why can't I achieve the goals of my Christian life?" As her schedule was being scrutinized, it turned out that her "important" meetings and projects occupied almost the entire page, leaving her faith only "the size of a fingernail." She finally realized that her "busyness" was crowding out what mattered most.
The final blow came from an elderly pastor's sermon: "Right now is the youngest, most energetic, and most vibrant moment of the rest of your life. Where exactly are you going to invest this precious capital?" Su made a decision that seemed "crazy": she suspended all commercial activities.
Rest as Reconstruction
During her year of pause, her life was completely reordered. She learned to cook, do family chores, and pick up her children from school... In the mundane rhythm of the kitchen and the school gate, she rediscovered inner peace and cure. She described this year not as a void, but as a "system reset."
Returning to the workplace, she now chooses her path with clear boundaries and a confirmed mission. During a prayer, she saw a vision: a golden island in the sea, reachable only by a ship named "Faith." The larger the ship, the more people it could carry.
She realized her mission was to connect lost lives through the "Over 10,000 People Reading The Purpose Driven Life" initiative.
From "relying on herself" to "resting in God," and from "blind busyness" to "intentional discernment," this rest year did not shrink her life. Instead, it allowed her to find her footing and move forward with true purpose.
Originally published by the Christian Times
- Edited by Poppy Chan
