Brother Zibu (pseudonym) fits the description of an ideal partner in many ways. As a millennial, he is a tall, handsome "Northern big guy" with a healthy physique and a gentle demeanor. Now 33 years old—the age at which Jesus approached the cross—Zibu carries a cross of his own: despite his desire for marriage, he remains single.
His singleness is not due to a lack of effort or personal charm, but stems from a conflict that defines the struggle of many young clergy in China today: the clash between a spiritual calling and secular reality.
Years ago, Zibu was on the verge of marriage. In 2018, he had a fiancée whose family was fond of him. However, Zibu also had a burning desire for missions, inspired by the legacy of Hudson Taylor.
The dilemma was sharp. His fiancée's family, though nominal Christians, wanted a stable, comfortable life for their daughter, not the hardships of a missionary's wife. Zibu recalls the agonizing struggle: "If I chose missions, the marriage would be over, and my comfortable life would be gone."
After a period of tearful prayer and surrender to God, Zibu chose his calling. The engagement was called off. Ironically, the mission trip didn't materialize, and Zibu ended up in a strange city, serving a fellowship for the deaf and mute. He lost the marriage, but he kept his integrity.
Today, Zibu is actively seeking a spouse, but he faces repeated rejection. The barrier is no longer about his willingness to go abroad, but his identity as a full-time preacher in China.
In the current dating market, even within the church, financial stability is a priority. "I was defeated by reality," Zibu admits with a wry smile. Sisters are pragmatic; they worry about housing, cars, and the cost of raising children—things a preacher with a meager income cannot guarantee.
"For others, trusting God 30% might be enough to get married," Zibu reflects. "But for me, it seems I must trust Him 100%."
Despite the pressure from his aging parents, who are desperate for grandchildren, and his own loneliness, Zibu refuses to settle on the one thing that matters most.
He has lowered his standards regarding looks, education, and background. "I don't care about those things anymore," he says. "I just need a sister who is spiritually compatible."
He cites the example of a seminary classmate whose ministry was stifled by a wife who didn't share his vision. For Zibu, marriage must be a partnership in faith, or it becomes a burden to the ministry.
Zibu's story is not unique; it is a microcosm of the survival status of a generation of Chinese preachers. In a world that increasingly values immediate satisfaction and material security, Zibu's waiting is a difficult, solitary, yet powerful testimony. He stands as a question mark to the modern age: Is there still room for a faith that relies solely on God's provision?
Originally published by the Christian Times
- Edited and translated by Elena Li
